Posts for October, 2011

October 17, 2011

Junior Jay Stuffs His Face

I didn’t ask to have a pet blue jay but a month after I moved into my studio this summer, he appeared on the windowsill and then he cheekily jumped through the window and onto my kitchen table so I gave him one of the Freddy Guys hazelnuts I was eating.

We became uneasy friends. He’d fly up to the window and I would give him a few nuts. Soon, he developed an entitlement complex. One morning he woke me up by jumping on the bed and squawking about his nuts. Typical guy. Once he came for a visit and I was in the middle of doing something so I told him to wait a minute. Clearly miffed, he pooped on my favorite handbag, the Kate Spade one. I was so mad. No nuts for Junior that day.

Now we have an agreement, I lay 10 organic free range almonds on the windowsill every morning and he doesn’t poop on my purse.

He’s kind of camera shy but I caught him the other day. Look at him stuffing his face. I’m sort of proud, actually.



I love my labelmaker.

October 5, 2011

Pre-Wedge Fest Sublimity at Metrovino

I got my hair cut the other day, and even though I assured the hair stylist that the only post-trim activities I had planned were walking home in the rain and making cinnamon toast and watching 30 Rock on Netflix, she insisted on blow-drying it and laboriously curling it to show me “what was possible.” You know, if I cared about having sublime hair. Which I don’t, because inevitably it’s just going to get wet and frizzy and then accidentally fall in a piece of buttery cinnamon toast. After all, this is Portland, where a woman’s crowning glory is actually her best woolen cap.

wedgeI think this story (sort of) aptly illustrates what last week’s Pre-Wedge Festival cheese luncheon was like. A group of food-minded folks were invited by the Oregon Cheese Guild to convene at restaurateur/wine whisperer Todd Steele‘s lovely Metrovino at high noon, where we were all plied with a procession of executive chef Greg Denton and chef de cuisine Gabrielle Quiñónez Denton‘s ornate cheese-centric dishes, dishes that took delicious Oregon cheeses in their natural, un-blow dried and un-curled state and showed us all “what was possible.” If we were geniusy chef-types who had truffle-salted pistachios and maple-beef chorizo and armagnac prune biscotti lying around the kitchen, that is. Read full story »

October 3, 2011

Hello, October

October is a big month ’round these parts, and by these parts I mean my chocolate smeared “office,” aka miniscule studio apartment, which is now festooned with small pumpkins and rainboots and sandbags and other accoutrements of autumn.

atootFirst and foremost, October is my birthday month and in case you’re wondering, I want the same thing I wanted last year and didn’t get, a mini-bulldog named Admiral Toot, world peace and a chocolate waterfall. Moving on.

wordstockchairbigSecondly, I’ll be participating in a Wordstock panel this Saturday, Oct. 8th at 2pm, with local foodinistas Liz Crain of the Food Lover’s Guide To Portland fame and co-queen of Cartopia Kelley Roy. The panel, which is called Every Book Is a Startup, will be led by entrepreneurial publishing expert Todd Sattersten and we’ll all be talking about the agony joys of being an author-preneur, specifically one who published a book about Portland’s thriving food scene. Should be great fun!


Ooooweee, I'm 33.1% off!

Thirdly, I’m thrilled to be a part of Shades of Pink, a fun festival celebrating women’s health and wellness, which is going to be held in downtown Portland’s Pacwest Center Atrium (1211 SW 5th Ave.), on Thursday, Oct. 13, from 4 to 7 pm. Stash Tea will be there, and David Hill Vineyard, and Shakers Vodka, and Dosha, and Bonneville Hot Springs, and massage therapists, and other relaxing sorts of exhibitors. I’ll be selling and signing Best Places To Stuff Your Faces, and if you mention the secret words, I will sell you the book for $10, which is 33.1% off. Merry Halloween! What are the secret words? Admiral Toot, of course. And you have to shout that, too. Just kidding. You can say it in a normal tone because I don’t want you scaring the people who are trying to chill out and sip vodka and get massaged, okay?!

mixoctLastly, here are some random Octoberish Under The Table-related tidbits. I wrote an article in the October Mix Magazine (the Wine and Spirits Issue), about wine bars, which was fun to write because I got to drink a lot and say I was “working.” You should get the magazine, if not for my tipsy ramblings, for the excellent articles about biodynamic winemaking and solving the mystery of Clear Creek Distillery’s mesmerizing pear-in-a-bottle-of-brandy. And to laugh at my Contributors photo, because I look really red and flushed, like I’ve been drinking too much wine or something. Oh, wait.

Also, KPTV Fox 12 was kind enough to have me on their morning show More Good Day Oregon last Friday to talk with super-nice Brian MacMillan about Best Places To Stuff Your Faces. I mostly spent the three minutes trying a)to sound somewhat coherent and b)not to slide off that green chair, but it was fun to talk to Brian, who admitted before the show that his Facestuffer score is a paltry three out of 100. I gave him a book and told him to get to work.

Anyhow, happy October and hopefully I’ll see you at Wordstock and Shades of Pink. ADMIRAL TOOT!