Posts for December, 2013

December 20, 2013

16 Festive Downtown Snack Stops

‘Tis the season to shop til you drop (hopefully not due to being Tasered by someone over the rights to a deeply discounted tea towel set), and unless being unable to find street parking in under 45 minutes elevates your blood pressure beyond medically acceptable levels, you can’t beat downtown Portland for a most festive buying experience. But besides burning money, shopping also burns calories, so you will likely need sustenance at various intervals during your spree—hence, here are 16 downtown snack stops.

Clyde Common’s Egg Nog
By now I think we’ve all either tasted or at least heard rumors of the ambrosial holiday staple that is Clyde bar manager Jeffrey Morgenthaler’s spiked egg nog, crafted with Anejo tequila, Amontillado sherry, eggs, cream and nutmeg. It’s only on the cocktail menu until the new year’s ball drops (or possibly a bit longer), which totally justifies that third round.

Multnomah Whiskey Library’s Old Fashioned
Screen Shot 2013-12-19 at 4.45.36 PMYou’ve heard rumblings about the MWL’s 3-hour waits, but no worries, because you’ve got a plan. Put your name in, then see if you can get all your shopping done before it’s your turn to get raptured to whiskey heaven. It doesn’t hurt that boutique greats like Alder & Co., Frances May and Woonwinkel are all in a one-block radius, and Union Way is just up the street. It will feel like mere minutes until you’re settled into the leather sofa in front of the fireplace, a flawless Old Fashioned in hand, Buffalo Trace tartare on the way.

Tasty n Alder’s Dollar Biscuits
Tasty n Son’s super popular downtown brother can be a mob scene at high dining tide, but if you happen in during midday menu (2-5:30pm), it’s both peaceful and has dollar biscuits. And nothing fortifies a weary shopper like dollar biscuits with honey butter, $6 sparkling wine, and $7 Tasty sours. Read full story »

December 18, 2013

The 30-Minute PDX Food Lover’s Shopping Guide

If 10,000 hours of doing something makes you an expert, then I’m an expert on last minute gift shopping. I always plan on doing my Christmas shopping early, like say, in March, but of course I don’t, and then sometime around December 18th, I see someone’s advent calendar on a social medium and it’s in the single digits and I pass out face forward into my hot cocoa from I-haven’t-even-done-one-minute-of-shopping shock.

Anyway, here is a very quick roundup of gift ideas for the last minute gift giver who likes to buy people things they can eat. It took me 30 minutes to put together, and should take you roughly about the same amount of time to click, buy, and then go make some eggnog punch. I’d love to spend more time on it, but I can’t, because I have to clean up all this spilt hot chocolate and then go shopping and then invent an app that does all your shopping for you, in March, then delivers everything wrapped and ready to go in mid-December, along with a bottle of chilled champagne so you can toast your brilliance, and a smartphone wielding monkey who will send smug pictures of you doing so to all your harried fellow procrastinators. I think that app will be a bestseller for sure. Read full story »

December 13, 2013

Noel Marche at Oui Presse

Way up high on my list of Portland happy places is Oui Presse’s front window, with a pot of tea and a warm croissant (yes, they will happily warm your Ken’s croissant for you, and then serve it with butter and apricot jam), so I’m pretty thrilled to be a part of the shop’s annual Noel Marche holiday gift fair tonight.


And even if you don’t want to come see me and Facestuffer Deux (THANKS A HEAP!), or you don’t feel like shopping (HUH? WHAT?!), or you already did all your shopping (SHOW OFF!!), you should just come for the egg nog lattes (YES, EGG NOG LATTES!!!).

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December 12, 2013

A Winning Trifecta

As anyone who owns a highly profitable circus, Bee Gees albums, or a three-legged goose that lays three golden eggs every three hours well knows, three is a lucky number. So it seemed inevitable that baker/restaurateur/James Beard and IACP Award-winning author Ken Forkish’s third venture would be a smashing success, and from the looks of the hungry mob hanging out by the woodpile in the bar come suppertime, it is.

Like his other two ventures, Ken’s Artisan Bakery and Ken’s Artisan Pizza, Ken’s Trifecta Tavern boasts the requisite lines out the door, dough-based divinity and high quality beverages, with one key difference—the miles of red leather booths that line the ruddy-walled, industrial chic L-shaped former auto upholstery shop. Oh, and the raw oysters. And the pimento cheese toast. And the $75 “Big Ass” steak. So I guess technically, there are many key differences, all good.


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December 11, 2013

Winter Warmer: Steven Smith’s Tearoom

Last week, my family and their terrified-by-everything miniature schnauzer, Hoppa Loppa (not joking, that is the dog’s name), came into town, which meant I had to take time out from decorating my lime green tinsel tree with Facestuffer iPhone cases to show them around town, which was fine, because my family is #crazybutsuperfun.



Hi, my name is Hoppa Loppa. I like long walks in the garden, getting burrs in my moustache, stealing socks, and quaking in fear for no reason.

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December 4, 2013

Raclette Wednesdays at Cheese Bar

Ever since I became an ardent green smoothier, I hardly ever get sick. But since the second edition of Best Places To Stuff Your Faces came out last month and I’ve been running around like a headless future coq au vin and neglecting my green smoothie regiment, the other day all my bragging about never getting sick was rewarded with the stirrings of a nasty cold. Naturally, the first sniffle sent me careening towards Walgreens on SE Belmont…and right on past, because I had to get up the street to Cheese Bar‘s Raclette Wednesday before the catarrh fully settled in, obliterating my most important sense’s ability to properly appreciate the wonder of melted raclette cheese.


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