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1. Juan of the Dead & Pambiche

Juan of the Dead, or Juan de los Muertos to those of you who’ve retained any more of your high school Spanish than cerveza and baño, is delighting discerning pro-zombie flick audiences with its story of two lazy Cuban con men who get enterprising in the face of an undead epidemic. The movie only plays through tonight (7:30pm and 9:45pm) at the Hollywood Theater, so since you are reading this Thursday morning, you’ll have to be spontaneous. If you aren’t already stuffed full of brains, you should get dinner at Portland Cuban mainstay Pambiche beforehand.

Tickets and showtimes * Pambiche

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2. Columbia Gorge Pear and Wine Festival

This weekend, Hood River’s Western Antique Aeroplane and Automobile Museum (WAAAM), will fill with Columbia Gorge luminaries like Full Sail Brewing Co., Maryhill Winery, Packer Orchards & Bakery, and Inspired Leaf Tea, along with loads more both food and non-food related. Besides the wine and beer tasting, great eats, live music, shopping and a free peek inside WAAAM, which has one of the largest collections of still-flying antique aeroplanes and still-driving antique automobiles in the country, you’ll also have an excuse to go drive your 1925 Minerva Roadster around the beautifically blossoming Hood River Valley.

More info>>

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3. Maifest

This Saturday from 10am to 7pm, Zeitgeist Northwest is bringing an old German spring celebration tradition to Oaks Park, and you’re invited, liebchen. Raise the Maypole, enjoy the vocalisms and sweet moves of the Liederkreis Choir, little Portland Kinderschule May dancers, and yodeler Shelby Imholt, drink specially-brewed Maibock beer in the bier garden, and as for the food–there will be Berlin ‘curry wurst’, German Döner, Fressen pretzels, and Bienenstich & Kobos Coffee for dessert.

Free admission * Website

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4. Wild Foods From Dirt to Plate Book Signing

Whether you’re a survivalist in training, looking for ways to cut your grocery bill, or just get a rapid pulse when you spy a particularly luscious mint bush spilling onto the sidewalk, botanist John Kallas is your guy. This Sunday afternoon at the Multnomah County Central Library, he’ll be discussing and signing his book, “Edible Wild Plants: Wild Foods from Dirt to Plate,” which shows you how to identify, harvest and prepare nutritious, delicious and abundant edible wild plants found within walking distance of your own kitchen. The free presentation goes from 1 to 3pm, so you can use your new skills to rustle up a unique (and free) Sunday supper on your walk home.

Free * Details>>

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5. Pre Memorial Day Wine Country Events

It’s still a week until that famous three-day gateway to summer, Memorial Day Weekend, but quite a few wineries are getting a jump on things. If you’re keen on doing a bit of warm-weather weekend tasting without the holiday weekend crowds, head to R. Stuart & Co. Winery’s Open House for hor d ouvres, live music and library wines ($10), Beckham Estate Vineyard’s Spring Release Open House ($5) for rosé and pinot noir release and vineyard tours, Terra Vina Wines’ Pre-Memorial Tasting and Futures Sale ($10) at their downtown Carlton tasting room, and Hawkins Cellars’ 2011 Viognier Release Party ($15).

Willamette Valley Wineries’ events calendar>>

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6. Kenton Street Fair

I love, love, love cute little Kenton–this spunky NoPo micro-hood has lots going for it, like Po’Shines’ fried catfish, just-off-the-grill ribs at Cason’s Fine Meats, and Pizza Fino pies to name a few. And on Sunday it’s hosting the 3rd Annual Kenton Street Fair, a feastival of good eats and drinks, live music on two stages, kids activities, and 70+ vendors spanning from N. Willis to N. Watts. Speaking of catfish, in honor of the fair, Po’Shines is holding a special Fish Fry from 11am to 6pm–think fried catfish and fried shrimp, hush puppies, coleslaw and homemade tartar sauce. Did I mention how much I love Kenton?!

Kenton Street Fair Facebook Page>>

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7. The Parish Preview Events

Reservations-only preview events prior to one’s restaurant opening are all the rage these days, and The Parish is no exception– EaT: An Oyster Bar’s Tobias Hogan and Ethan Powell’s new Pearl District Creole/Cajun eatery is mixing things up with a blues concert and preview party on Friday night, a sit-down dinner on Saturday night, and a more casual $25 Jazz Brunch on Sunday.

The Parish website>>

Consequently, an epic event like the annual International Pinot Noir Celebration seems almost mystical in nature–whip-smart warlocks of wine flying in from all over the world to attend the University of Pinot, brilliant sommeliers striding through Willamette Valley vineyards swirling, sniffing, sipping, and speaking in wine tongues about appellations, biodynamics and carbonic maceration.

It’s no wonder the IPNC Salmon Bake tickets sell out in about 5 seconds flat every year–wine novice or no, everyone can get on board with acres of food-laden tables, alder spear-roasted salmon, and bottomless wine glasses. But if your heart was broken by the Sold Out note on the Salmon Bake tickets link, or you’re uncertain about committing to the entire weekend’s admittedly-spendy affair, or you’re like me and actually prefer a leisurely, relaxed, no-lines Sunday afternoon summer wine tasting over the wild and wonderful belly-busting brouhaha that is the Salmon Bake, rejoice–for the time being, tickets are still available for Sunday’s IPNC Walkabout.

Once upon a time, this event was called Passport to Pinot, and it inspired a meanderingly adventurous and now somewhat embarrassing post on TableTalkPortland, the blog I used to write with Olympic Provisions co-owner Michelle Cairo, entitled “Passport to Pinot Is NOT on Saturday.”

The Walkabout premise is quite simple–on Sunday, July 29th, from 2-5:30pm, you convene in the gorgeous, shaded Oak Grove of McMinnville’s picturesque Linfield College, where 70 extremely-gifted winemakers are waiting to pour their dreams into your pinot noir glass, meaning you’ll try many of the very same wines that IPNC’s all-weekend attendees previously enjoyed at Friday and Saturday’s tastings. Also on hand are IPNC’s guest chefs, to temper your joyful buzz with vino-friendly eats.

And if you need further incentive, here’s an excerpt from this week’s Simpatica Dining Hall newsletter, written by chef Ben Dyer, a die-hard IPNC fan–”Not feeling quite ready to dive into the full weekend? No problem – there is a smaller event on Sunday afternoon, called Walkabout, which allows you to sample offerings from 70 wineries while noshing on treats from about a dozen local chefs…mention this email and I will personally make sure you get more wine in your glass… ”

Ding-dong!

Click here to buy your tickets>> (And once you’ve bought them, please let me know so we can coordinate our outfits, it would be so mortifying if we both showed up in this well-ventilated Bottega Veneta pleated skirt dress.)

And in what is certainly one of the most enthralling Winner Wednesdays EVER (yeah, I know Winner Wednesday is only a few weeks old but seriously, this is very exciting stuff), the IPNC has offered an extremely generous gift to Under The Table readers–the chance to win two tickets to the Walkabout! (Cue smelling salts.)

These two precious tickets promise an unforgettable summer day in wine country at one of the world’s premiere wine events, which is, as they say, priceless. No specialized wine knowledge necessary–just you, your date, your wine glass, and your thumb and index finger (the only two fingers really necessary to partake of the delicious finger foods placed strategically about the Oak Grove) or some kind of mechanical proximation.

To win, head over and Like the UTT Facebook page, then find the link to the Walkabout Winner Wednesday quiz, an easy 5-question test of your IPNC knowledge.

I’ll announce the winner in this Friday’s Table Scraps newsletter (so hopefully you are subscribed)…until then, may you have pinot gris wishes and pinot noir dreams.

PS: For those of you who still get nervous about pop quizzes, here’s a preview so you can study:

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1. How many winemakers are pouring at IPNC’s Walkabout?

How many winemakers are pouring at IPNC’s Walkabout? 50 70 1,934 All I care about is how many winemakers pouring at IPNC’s Walkabout are hot, single and have a French accent.

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2. The IPNC Walkabout is held here:

The IPNC Walkabout is held here: Carlton Farms University of Pinot Linfield College’s Oak Grove Burgundy

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3. What wine is the star of the show at IPNC’s Walkabout?

What wine is the star of the show at IPNC’s Walkabout? Pinot Noir Champagne Boone’s Farm Kyle MacLachlan’s Pursued By Bear Cabernet

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4. When a guest arrives at the IPNC Walkabout, they are handed what item before being set free to sip themselves silly?

When a guest arrives at the IPNC Walkabout, they are handed what item before being set free to sip themselves silly? A puppy wearing a pink beret A “To Spit or Not To Spit” personal pour bucket An Oregon Pinot Noir glass A bottle of aspirin

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5. It has been established in Jen’s embarrassing 2008 TableTalkPortland tell-all, that IPNC’s Walkabout occurs on which day of the IPNC weekend?

It has been established in Jen’s embarrassing 2008 TableTalkPortland tell-all, that IPNC’s Walkabout is on which day of the IPNC weekend? Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

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6. Please type your name and email address in the box below, so that if you are the BIG WINNER of TWO TICKETS TO THE IPNC WALKABOUT, I can get a hold of you to tell you the great news and also to coordinate our outfits for the big day.

Tucked deep in the maple and wisteria-shaded recesses of the lush quarter-acre Japanese garden that elevates Northeast Portland’s ever-stylish Yakuza Lounge to part urbane eatery-part Zen retreat, sits the Kuza Garden Cabin, a fashionably rustic vine-draped retreat that permits one to quite literally live in the backyard of one of Portland’s favorite restaurants. I was invited to experience a little staycation by Yakuza/Kuza Cabin owner/developer/all-around lovely lady Dayna McErlean, so I packed an overnight bag (okay, three, I’ve never been all that adept at packing light), drove the three miles to Northeast Portland, and entered a totally different world for 24 hours.

A remodeled 1922 carrriage house, the low-slung 350-square foot cabin is unassuming at first glance, its sedate grey facade nearly concealed beneath the ivy that snakes up and over the kitchen window and gauzy curtain-shrouded bright red front door (which is of course, excellent feng shui).

Inside, however, is another world–inspired by the clean aesthetics of a Japanese mountain cabin, McErlean and co-designer Tim Parsons crafted an intimate sanctuary lined with linseed oil-rubbed wood planks and sporting a pared-down style that’s too warm to be minimalist, but so well-conceptualized and uncluttered that you sort of want to start Googling professional organizers.

A Tivoli table radio played soft music, a single perfect daffodil bobbed in a spotless crystal vase, Mada toiletries lined the window ledge of the white subway-tiled sunken shower, and the afternoon sun streamed through the opaque glass panes of the vintage garage doors on the west-facing wall.

A chilled bottle of Prosecco winked from the corner of the long wooden bar that runs the length of the kitchen, perfect timing, considering that the sun was gracing Portland with its unfamiliar presence, happy hour was a ways off, and I had my own private Japanese garden just beyond the door.

It was tempting never to leave, after all, the cabin offers Yakuza room service and in-room massages upon request, but after soaking up a bit of Vitamin D, a stroll around the neighborhood seemed prudent. Walking down the path that separates Yakuza’s patio from well-known local supper club Beast’s back stoop, I could see both kitchen staffs inside prepping for the hungry Last Thursday throngs, but all was still quiet in the four corners of Fox Chase, the charming four-block micro-neighborhood that cradles a dozen or so of Portland’s best restaurants and most unique boutiques at the corner of NE Killingsworth and 30th.

Speaking of which, there was just enough time for some shopping before happy hour–I stopped into newly-relocated Robots Love Cupcakes for Strawberry Cardamom, Green Tea Cherry Blossom and Red Velvet beauties, browsed racks of vintage leather purses and ornate cowboy boots and burrowed through the irresistible crate of $5 handbags at Half Pint, and goggled immaturely at the Happy Heinie training pants, Got Breast Milk tshirts and Swedish Snotsuckers (not making that up) at Milagros.

I had a relaxed poke around the treasure trove that is Red Fox Vintage, where I secured an exceptionally well-illustrated piece of literature entitled “A Really Super Book About Squirrels,” took a slow, reverent lap around the awe-inspiring exhibition of handmade mosaics at Hail Mary, then crossed the street to gorgeous new Troolie, where the cards are so well chosen that even though nobody I know has a birthday until sometime around Labor Day, I started buying cards for people’s half-birthdays because I couldn’t resist them.

Across the street, Cocotte was just opening for the evening as I stepped up to try happy hour–and a few minutes later I was sitting at a bistro table beneath their living wall garden, sipping a Lillet on the rocks with a lemon twist and delving into the gratin–a ridiculously rich golden breadcrumb-crusted concoction of heavy cream, leeks, Manchego, fresh herbs and mustard seed enveloping meaty morsels of smoked sturgeon.

Since there’s no dinner like a progressive dinner, I walked a few feet back up the street and met a friend at Yakuza, where we sipped earthy-sweet Beet Martinis and Ginger Fizzes, and pretty much swooned over the melt-in-your-mouth blood orange-oil drizzled salmon tataki with smoked cherry salt and Ikura caviar, a pair of fat, creamy seared scallops with sunchoke, morels and buttered ponzu, and silky chunks of black cod swimming in mirin and white miso.

By now, the Last Thursday crowd was growing dense around the doorway and the dessert sirens were calling, so we relinquished our table, walked a half block and crossed Killingsworth, contemplated a shot of good tequila and pozole at festive Autentica but decided to raincheck, and came up alongside perennially darling DOC, where equally darling chefs Jobie Bailey and Paul Losch were toiling merrily behind the stove of their Lilliputian kitchen, and wine wizard Austin Bridges was doing his thing, you know, that thing where he effortlessly plays matchmaker with you and your wine soul mates.

We shared the farmhouse cheese plate, the chocolate panna cotta with Black Mission figs, an elegant lemon tart with pale pink rhubarb sorbet, and the profiteroles with ricotta, peach and balsamic. It is slightly heartbreaking that due to the waning daylight and romantic lighting, all of my dessert pictures are but unsightly blurs. Sorry. You’ll just have to retrace my steps and see them yourselves.

After dessert, it was another convenient half block walk “home,” where we poured a glass of Prosecco and argued about who looked fatter in our swimsuits. Yes, swimsuits. Doesn’t everyone end a three-restaurant evening by shoehorning their bulging midsection into a swimsuit? Well, that’s how we roll. And we did indeed roll the 10 steps from the cabin door to Yakuza’s serene stone soaking tub, which lies surrounded by comely shrubbery in the back of the garden, offering views of the moonlit garden, Yakuza’s back patio, and the stars. There’s also a fire pit, if you’re more Yin than Yang.

The next morning, I had every intention of partaking in the 7:30am yoga class at nearby The People’s Yoga, but somehow we instead ended up watching Bridesmaids on the flat screen television suspended over the supremely comfortable bed, enjoying a leisurely cappucino and some excellent people-watching at neighborhood roaster Extracto coffee, and stuffing our faces with blueberry pancakes, a roasted vegetable scramble, and a bacon smile in a comfy booth at Cup & Saucer Cafe.

And then it was checkout time, so we slowly and mournfully gathered up our wet swimsuits, wiped the cupcake crumbs and Prosecco drips off the kitchen counter, and headed the three miles back to our real Portland life. The one that doesn’t involve swanky hair products and a midnight soaking tub and an enchanting Japanese garden cabin that lies in the back yard of some of Portland’s best restaurants and a half block from everything else you could ever need in life–peach profiteroles, wine soul mates, $5 purses, pineapple rosaries, bawdy birthday cards, optional yoga glasses, really big blueberry pancakes, Swedish snotsuckers and all.

Note to readers: Although it hasn’t been on the short-term rental market for long, the Kuza Cabin has already hosted an assortment of savvy staycationers, out-of-town brand-new grandparents who don’t want to get in the way of/need refuge from their frazzled childrens’ attempts to manage a newborn, and novelists seeking a unique lodging experience in a fully-stocked Portland micro-neighborhood. You too could staycation here, or, share its particulars with a B&B-seeking friend who wants a one-of-a-kind Portland experience–the Kuza Cabin makes appearances on both VRBO.com and AirB&B.com.

]]> http://underthetablewithjen.com/blog/staycation-the-kuza-cabin/feed/ 0 http://underthetablewithjen.com/blog/help-a-monster-out/ http://underthetablewithjen.com/blog/help-a-monster-out/#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 14:00:15 +0000 admin http://underthetablewithjen.com/?p=18662 Efforts to make the world a better place come in all shapes and sizes–sometimes they are a hotsy-totsy former CIA assassin turned water warrior, sometimes they are the coffee of the person behind you, sometimes they are a couple hours of your Saturday afternoon, and sometimes they are covered in green fur and dispense nut butter.

Enter the Goodie Monster–the healthiest, most handsome (if you’re into big teeth and a lot of chest hair) vending machine ever born. Mr. Monster was created by my dear friend and brilliant designer Mette Hornung Rankin and Portland creative strategist Mark Jacobs, who are determined to elevate the boring, junk-dispensing vending machines we all know into fun, healthy lifestyle-enhancing snack hubs with loads of personality.

(Click here to read about my decadent four-course Goodie Monster feast)

This project is as grassroots as they come, and until Mr. Healthy Snacks himself Jamie Oliver comes along and throws some big bucks behind it (crossing fingers), it’s up to Mette and Mark to, as they put it, “give the Goodie Monster a family,” which they are accomplishing with a supercute Kickstarter campaign.

Donate $10 and get a thank you postcard from the Goodie Monster, donate $30 and get a limited edition “mini-monster”, donate $500 or more and you get to name a Goodie Monster and be immortalized in the healthy vending machine history books. And no matter how much you donate, you get the reward of that feel-good inner glow that comes from helping a monster out, yo?

Timing is everything in this venture–Mette and Mark only have until June 4th to raise the Goodie Monster family planning funding they need, so please consider donating today! Or tomorrow. Or sometime before June 4th, okay?!? And then go about your day filled with the delicious satisfaction that you are helping change the world one bag of dried mango slices at a time.

Several Portland eateries have gone so far as to create special pizzas in recognition of this hallowed of weeks, and Eater editor Erin DeJesus and I popped into Cheese Bar today to sample its two pizza creations–the first, a fondue-inspired pie made with both comté and raclette cheeses, caramelized onions, fat toasted walnuts and an arugula purée on a thin, chewy, flatbread-esque crust; the second, a striking arrangement of Fino in Fondo’s Calabrese salami and Spanish pickled peppers over a golden-blistered layer of fresh, nutty Brebis cheese and a Mama Lil’s pepper purée. Both pizzas will be available through Sunday, and now that Cheese Bar’s Steve Jones has pies in his eyes, he’s also declared every Sunday evening in May to be Pizza Night.

(Seeing as it’s also National Salad Month, May I also recommend Cheese Bar’s spring-on-a-plate Salad #2: baby spinach, asparagus, new potatoes, spring onions and feta in a garlic confit vinaigrette. ‘Twas divine.)

Another feature of Eater Pizza Week has been interviews with some of the city’s top dough-slingers. I got to interview the lovely and exuberant Delane Blackstock of Dove Vivi fame about giant cornmeal doughballs, the beauty of mustard on pizza, and why it’s great to be Number 3 (read interview here) AND I had fun, fascinating chats with both Lovely’s Fifty-Fifty co-owner Sarah Minnick and chef Jimmy Albee, about market-to-oven pies, letting Mom Minnick chop the wood, how to request the ice cream triple-mini-scooper with authority, and why they long to exile the margherita pizza (read interview here).

The only unfortunate side effect of all this pizza exposure is that I now crave it constantly, so thank goodness May is National Bike Month too–I’m going to need to go for 50-mile rides every day so that it doesn’t also become Giant Heinie Month.

Taste Pinot 365–a collaboration between 13 top Oregon pinot producers who strongly believe that wine tasting should be as much a part of your daily routine as cruising Justin Bieber videos on YouTube–comes to the Olympic Mills Building tonight at 6pm, and for $15 you can sample their wines, enjoy eats by Red Hills Provincial Dining and Olympic Provisions, and plot out your tasting trajectory for the remaining 236 days of 2012.

When: Thu. May 10, 6-8pm
Where: Olympic Mills Building, 107 SE Washington St.
How Much: $15, Buy Tickets Here>>
Website

On Sat. May 19, and Sun. May 20, Hood River’s Western Antique Aeroplane and Automobile Museum (WAAAM), will fill with Columbia Gorge luminaries like Full Sail Brewing Co., Maryhill Winery, Packer Orchards & Bakery, and Inspired Leaf Tea, along with loads more both food and non-food related. Besides the wine and beer tasting, great eats, live music, shopping and a free peek inside WAAAM, which has one of the largest collections of still-flying antique aeroplanes and still-driving antique automobiles in the country, you’ll also have an excuse to go drive your 1925 Minerva Roadster around the Hood River Valley, which looked like this when I was there last last weekend:

To win two tickets, click here to go to the UTT Facebook page, where all you have to do is name your favorite way to eat a pear, be it just plucked from the tree, sliced into a sweet crumble, or muddled into a Pear Haymaker (yes, please!). I’ll announce the random winner in Friday’s edition of Table Scraps, UTT’s tasty weekly newsletter. (Sign up here if you are still Table Scraps-deprived.)

It’s pretty simple–every Wednesday in May, buy a bottle of wine at Cork on NE Alberta and pick up a coupon for free corkage, then head a few blocks down to Aviary restaurant and pair a delicious dinner with your corkage-free wine.

Wednesday I’m in love, as the song doesn’t go.

Winner Wednesday--It's kind of like this.

For a chance to win, you just have to comment on the UTT Facebook page before Friday morning at 9am, then make sure you get Table Scraps (which comes every Friday sometime after 9am), because that’s how I will announce the randomly-selected winner each week.

This week’s winning opportunity? Two tickets to next Thursday’s Taste Pinot 365–a collaboration between 13 top Oregon pinot producers who strongly believe that wine tasting should be as much a part of your daily routine as cruising Justin Bieber videos on YouTube (hence the 365…days a year…get it?). Join them at the Olympic Mills Building, where for a scant $15 you can sample wonderful wines, enjoy great eats by Red Hills Provincial Dining and Olympic Provisions, and plot out your tasting trajectory for the remaining 244 days of 2012.

Win Tickets Here>>

TASTE PINOT 365 DETAILS
When: Thu. May 10, 6-8pm
Where: Olympic Mills Building, 107 SE Washington St.
How Much: $15, Buy Tickets Here>>
Website

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1. Mother’s Day at Lan Su

What does Mom like almost as much/more than you? Peonies, the most perfect flower ever invented by God, undoubtedly to give to his mother on the second Sunday of May. And at the Chinese Garden’s “Mother’s Day at Lan Su,” you’ll find fresh peonies by Brothers Herb & Peonies for sale all day, special performances by the NW Chinese Academy Sunflower Dance Troupe at 11am, and the Orchid and Bamboo Children’s Music Ensemble at noon. And from 1-3, you can make Mom a peony card. Then, it’s time to eat.

Brunch Pairing: Bluehour

The perfect mom and her perfect flower deserve the perfect brunch, and it doesn’t get much better than elegant Bluehour, just a short walk up the street from the Lan Su Chinese Garden. From 10am-3pm, Bluehour’s prix fixe three-course brunch will ply mom with a bellini and decadent dishes like poached hen’s egg with duck confit, Dutch Babies with strawberry compote, and soft scrambled eggs with lobster and delicate pea shoots. $45, Full menu>>

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2. Sunday Parkways

Sunday marks the season’s first Portland Sunday Parkways, a leisurely loop around pleasant NE Going and Ainsworth streets with stops at Alberta, Fernhill, and Woodlawn parks, where Mom can play bocce ball, bounce around in an inflatable castle, take in a magic show, and listen to Nekked Bonz, an “urban crunch” band. So get mom’s bike tuned up, put new pink tassels on her handlebars, and give her the gift of a convivial bike ride free from the stress of having to worry about somebody being run over. Details and map>>

Brunch Pairing: Yakuza

Conveniently, Yakuza falls right on the Sunday Parkways route, and even more conveniently, from 11am-1pm they are hosting a beautiful three-course prix fixe brunch that includes dishes like fresh fruit with lavender syrup and pear & bacon-stuffed baked French toast topped with spiced mascarpone, and a Blood Orange Mimosa or Kimchi Bloody Mary. If you bring your swimsuits, the serene backyard garden soaking tub is all yours until 2pm. Or, spend all day on the Parkways loop, then settle into Yakuza for their luxurious Dinner Retreat. Details>>

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3. Abby’s Table Cooking Class: “Healthful Mother’s Day Brunch”

On the Saturday preceding Mother’s Day, join chef Abby Fammartino of Abby’s Table as she instructs you in the finer points of preparing a gorgeous and healthy Italian-themed Mother’s Day brunch that also happens to be gluten, dairy and soy-free. From 11am-1pm in Abby’s cozy Southeast Portland kitchen, you’ll learn to make Mom six delectable dishes–fresh berry-stuffed crepes, Baby Gem lettuce salad with sweat pea shoots and edible flowers in a French tarragon vinagrette, poached wild salmon in chive faux-fraiche, glazed Chiogga beets with lemon and sweet basil, an asparagus and spinach frittata, and pecan shortbread. If that doesn’t forever cement you as Mom’s favorite, you must have been a very, very bad kid. $40, Reserve spot here

Brunch Pairing: Abby’s Table Mother’s Day Brunch

If you love the above menu but are allergic to kitchen calisthenics, forgo learning how to make Mom the Italian brunch of her life, and just escort her to the Italian brunch of her life. Book a few seats at Abby’s Table’s Sunday Mother’s Day Brunch–it’s the same menu as above, except you don’t have to do anything but eat and listen to your mom idly reminisce about her college semester in Turin and her dreamy boyfriend Augostino and how she’d probably eat meals like this every day if she had only run off with Augostino and started that olive farm they always talked about. $35, Website

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4. Cana’s Feast Winery

In keeping with the European theme, it’s possible that what Mom wants most is to get away from her normal life for a day, and while you probably can’t jet her to Italy on Sunday, you can fake it with a drive to dreamy Cana’s Feast Winery in Carlton, where moms will be treated to complimentary wine tastings and Prosecco, as well as fresh pastries, from 11am to 3pm. More info>>

Brunch Pairing: Bistro Maison

Now that Mom’s had her fill of Prosecco, Barbera, Nebbiolo and Rosato, whisk her off to “France,” at McMinnville favorite Bistro Maison’s “La Fete des Meres.” For $38 ($60 includes wine pairings), Mom can thrill over sweet parfait trifle with strawberries and honey yogurt, caramelized onion quiche, snails baked in Pernod and dill butter, braised lamb and duck cassoulet, and Penn Cove mussels steamed in coconut milk (see entire menu here). And for dessert, profiteroles with tangerine dust, chocolate torte with strawberry ice cream, or créme caramel. Honestly, this particular outing is almost making me want to be a mom. I said almost. Reservations accepted from 12-7:30pm, call 503.474.1888.

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5. Portland Japanese Garden

For the mother who loves to garden, or who wishes she actually had time to, head to what’s arguably the best-tended garden in Stumptown, the Portland Japanese Garden. From 10am to 7pm, garden guides will be scattered throughout the grounds to answer questions about the Garden’s history, culture and plants. Take a stroll around, then enjoy a cup of tea and sample sweet wagashi treats while you browse a selection of mom-friendly new products in the Garden Gift Store, from luxury soaps and candles to charming stationery. If Mom has a particularly excellent time, memberships are $10 off all day.

Brunch Pairing: Heathman Restaurant

Head south out of Washington Park and straight downtown to the Heathman Hotel restaurant for their predictably genteel Mother’s Day brunch, buffet and tea, with offerings like spring asparagus and shaved parmesan salad, duck confit with scrambled eggs, a hickory smoked ham carving station, and made-to-order omelets. There’s also a special Mother’s Day tea menu, with a Peter Rabbit Tea for the kids. $32-$42, Details & Menu Here>>

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Look! So motherly!

6. Mom and a Movie

I’m not a mom, but if I were, I think it would be heartwarming to spend my day watching superhunky Jason Statham steam up a Pioneer Place movie theater as he plays surrogate mother/guardian angel to a poor little genius girl who is being chased by mobsters and crooked police in Safe. (What’s that you say? Mom isn’t a Jason Statham fan? Weird! Substitute in The Lucky One, The Five Year Engagement, Titanic 3-D, or The Kid With a Bike. Maybe avoid Jeff, Who Lives at Home if that’s a touchy subject.)

Brunch Pairing: East India Company

Discuss Jason Statham’s chest, er best movie moments over East India Company’s bounteous Mother’s Day buffet brunch, which starts with passed appetizers like besan-crusted stuffed whole peppers and Chowpatty’s Pani Puri, and continues with a buffet spread of Tandoori Aloo Chat, Murg Sheekh Kebab, Railway Station Mutton Curry, Koliwada Fish Masala, and many more authentic Indian favorites, as well as an assortment of desserts. $21 adults, $15 children; call 503.227.8815 for reservations, Full Menu Here>>

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ETC…

There’s still time to win a hand-delivered Saint Cupcake Mother’s Day Brunch here>>

For more Mother’s Day brunch destinations, see the UTTWJ calendar here>>