Sometimes people get mad at me when I say that I’m getting my chub on, because admittedly I could be a lot huger considering how often I eat, but fortunately I inherited my mother’s diligent metabolism. However, I can tell when I’ve been hitting the pecan sticky buns a little too hard and the “gym”* not hard enough because my hips start to jut out and form little triangular bulges. We all put our weight on differently and I don’t get love handles, I get toast points.
So the other day I was browsing the Daily Mail and came across a post about how Miranda Kerr stays in shape, and even though I know the real reason is because she’s an android with a very good wig, I still read it because I’m a sucker for articles like that, and because I thought maybe there would be some helpful advice about how to get rid of my autumnal toast points. The article said Miranda uses this app called Moves to track her steps every day, which was of particular interest because my bf Michelle had been bragging about her new Fitbit motiontracking device, but it costs the equivalent of 35 Tabor Bread pecan sticky buns, so fuggedaboutit. I have priorities, and my priorities are sticky buns.
Moves was free (although it went to $1.99 today because of a cool upgrade, but still, that’s just about one half of a sticky bun, which is doable), so I gave it a whirl and it’s fantastic and I use it every day. The only caveat is you have to have your phone on you to have your steps counted because it tracks via your phone, but since I’m unfortunately now so attached to my phone that I set it on the back of the toilet so it’s as close to me as possible while I take a bath, that didn’t seem like a dealbreaker. What I love about it is that it tracks your steps, your time spent walking, your mileage, and your route. This was our recent route around Mt. Tabor before we descended upon Tabor Bread for a pecan sticky bun. What can I say? I need an incentive to go to the “gym.”*
*I’m using the word gym to represent any kind of physical activity; preferably one that doesn’t involve sweating, tight pants, or having to exercise in unison with other people.