Brunch
There is only one thing more “Sunday” than church here in Portland, and that is Brunch. The holiest of holy traditions, I’ve seen many a miracle when it comes to brunching in P-town. I’ve seen the sick healed (by Cricket Cafe’s Blood Gary), I’ve seen the mute speak (when it’s time to order Genie’s tasso ham benedict), and I’ve seen the almost dead rise and stand (at 11 am, to get in line at the Screen Door). Here are a few places where you’re almost sure to experience a Brunch miracle, like seeing the Virgin Mary take shape in the syrup drizzle you poured on your massive stack of Gravy’s pancakes.
Beast
The other day I was playing the “oh yeah, but have you eaten here?” game with a friend. The topic was brunch, and we ran though the usual suspects, getting increasingly aggressive, until we both shouted at the same time, “BEAST!?” Sheepishly, we both admitted we’d never partaken of the Beast brunch. “I’m frightened,” she whispered. “I can barely make it through Beast’s 5-course dinner, and I don’t eat all day in preparation. What if it’s too much brunch for me?” “We need to be brave,” I said sternly. “Remember–you can never have too much of a good brunch.” We made a reservation for the 10am seating on Sunday. And four dreamy courses later, as we floated back to our bicycles, we agreed–too much brunch, it ain’t.
Broder
This minimalistically funky and exceedingly popular Clinton Street cafe’s long narrow confines let you get cozy with the tight-tshirt-clad boys in the kitchen, who never stop moving as they calmly and swiftly turn out smokin’ hot cast-iron skillets filled with potato-studded smoked trout hash, baked duroc ham and Swedish farmer’s cheese scrambles, steaming piles of freshly made abelskivers–pleasantly dense little pancake orbs accompanied by tiny dipping bowls of lemon curd, lingonberry jam and maple syrup, and rows of Breakfast Boards–wooden planks loaded with a barely abbreviated smogasboard that might include a soft-boiled egg, ham, soft and hard cheeses, fruit compote, a grapefruit half, a hunk of hearty brown bread from nearby Little T American Baker, Nancy’s yogurt with honey, and even gravlax (cured salmon, if you aren’t up on your Swedish). The grapefruit mimosas, served in plump stemless wineglasses, are the perfect balance of freshly squeezed citrus and sparkling wine, and soon render the sometimes prohibitive wait for a table a distant memory.
Byways
I’ve seen people do a double take looking into Byways as they walk by—its heartwarming retro diner style doesn’t exactly blend in with the fancy schmancy Pearl District surroundings. Formerly Shakers, this 10-year-old establishment has a healthy stream of regulars, lines out the door and down the block during rush breakfast/brunch hour, and some very interesting salt and pepper shakers on display. The food is satisfying, tasty, and served in hearty portions. The blue corn pancakes are one of my favorite dishes— ground blue corn meal offers an interesting crunch, and the pancakes are served with delicious honey pecan butter and pure maple syrup. They are known for their delicious coffeecake (the chocolate sour cream and raspberry cream cheese versions are keepers), and if you are on of those people who like to start the day out with something somewhat healthy, a scramble or omelet will do you just fine–combine one with a hunk of coffeecake and you’ve got the best of both worlds, and a meal worthy of a long Sunday afternoon nap.
- Location: 1212 NW Glisan St. Portland Map it!
- Phone Number: 503.221.0011
- Hours: Mon-Fri 7am-3pm, Sat-Sun 7:30am-2pm
Cricket Cafe
Cricket Café calls themselves the Champions of Breakfast, which in a town known for first-meal-of-the-day fever, is quite a claim. But this energetic Belmont Street cafe holds its own in the competitive Bridgetown breakfast arena, turning out consistently satisfying breakfast fare for an appreciative audience who is willing to spend a goodly portion of their Saturday morning in a human clump outside the restaurant, chatting, sipping coffee, or just trying to stand upright after a particularly enthusiastic Friday night. Inside the narrow little bi-level café, servers whisk coffeepots and plates of Benedict, Chilaquiles Hash, Biscuits & Gravy, Truck Driver Breakfast Burritos, and Toasted Poundcake with Espresso Icing from room to room. Pancakes are light and fluffy (and huge), and the almost overflowing fresh fruit bowl is obviously channeling Carmen Miranda’s headwear. At any given time, half the tables in the cafe sport dramatically accessorized “Bloody Gary’s,” a tall dark glass of jalapeno or habanero-infused Monopolowa vodka and Cricket’s own Bloody Gary mix, with a skewer of pepperoncini, sweet red pepper, a garlic clove stuffed green olive, a pickled asparagus spear and green bean, and finally, the requisite stalk of crisp celery.
- Location: 3159 SE Belmont St. Portland Map it!
- Phone Number: 503.235.9348
- Hours: Mon-Sun - 7:30 am - 3pm
Genie’s
Ever since I discovered Genie’s mind (or is it sinus?) blowing Genie’s Bloody, I actually look forward to the formidable mid-morning Sunday wait at this fiercely popular SE Division cafe. A step up from the cafe’s traditional Bloody Mary–vodka, Genie’s Mary Mix, veggies ($5.50) — the Genie’s Mary ($6.50) stars your choice of Genie’s house-infused vodkas. Pick from a boggling list of house-infused vodkas that includes Jalapeño, Habañero, Horseradish, Bacon, Cucumber Dill, Lemon, Basil, and Rosemary. It’s no wonder that sometimes when the hostess finally calls my name, I’m asleep on a bench outside, smelling suspiciously of horseradish and vodka. If you need some food to go with your Genie’s Mary, try the Tasso ham benedict with thick slices of Cajun-style ham made by Viande (my personal favorite), or one of Genie’s myriad of scrambles and omelettes made with local cage-free eggs, a heaping plate of ciabatta bread French Toast with seasonal fruit piled atop, or the White Chocolate Chip and Toasted Hazelnut Pancakes.
- Location: 555 N Nowhere St (503.333.3333) Map it!
- Hours: Lunch Tue-Sun 11:30am-2:30pm • Dinner Tue-Thu • Sun 4:30-9pm
- Fare: Tacos $2-$2.95, soda, Jarritos, horchata, jamiaca, limonata
Gravy
Brunching at Gravy involves some tough decisions. Like, do you get the Monte Cristo—two slices of French toast topped with ham, turkey, Swiss cheese and maple syrup, the Sweet Potato pancakes with apple sauce and sour cream, or the Berry Oatmeal Brulee (crème brulee’s heart healthy cousin)–a heaping bowl of steel-cut oats topped with a crisp coating of torched sugar and fresh berries? See? Tough decisions! Located in the center of the gentrified epicurean funzone that is North Mississippi Avenue, Gravy is both booming and relaxed at the same time, service is fast and intuitive, and while the wait can be long, one you’re inside you don’t feel rushed, and thanks to the creative placement of a four-foot wall just inside the doorway you won’t have to suffer the pained gazes of the waiting crowd. Sit at the bar and you’ll get the honor of plonking your heinie in a barstool made out of a tractor seat, and you can nearly touch the makings of a Bloody Mary at their efficiently stocked bar.
J&M Cafe
Once upon a time, girl was waiting for a table at popular J&M Cafe, a lovely big warehousey breakfast hall in the industrial wilds of SE Ash. Very cute boy walked through the door. Eyes met, creating a frisson of…interest. Boy sat alone at the bar, girl snuck furtive glances at him throughout breakfast. Then cute boy left, but shot a parting smile girl’s way. Love lost? Girl and friend decided to do a little experiment with a Missed Connections ad on craigslist. Ad was posted, and to girl’s enormous surprise, ad was answered the next morning. Girl met boy. Boy was self-centered, egotistical, and long-winded. Boy asked girl one single little question during the course of the date: “How much milk does a goat give?” Girl is not lying about this. Boy then said he would like to kiss girl, but wondered aloud if it was okay since boy had a big canker sore. Girl left expeditiously. Girl felt sad her J&M Cafe fairy tale did not come true, but was glad it made such a good story.
Podnah’s Pit BBQ
Podnah’s Pit BBQ’s brunch packs a punch to the paunch, so dainty breakfast eaters beware. If you can finish Kyle’s Breakfast–two eggs, sliced brisket, a pile of potatoes, and a big fluffy homemade biscuit–you might not need to eat until sometime next week. Smoked trout hash afficionados will appreciate the hearty hash, made with Ruby Trout smoked on Podnah’s new smoker. The Huevos Rancheros are just the thing if a long night out has left you ravenous, or opt for the perfect alternative to the breakfast burrito–Podnah’s Breakfast Tacos, made with potato, egg, cheese and house-made chorizo. Aforementioned dainty breakfast eaters take heart, you can opt for the Tracy’s Organic Granola, made with yogurt or milk, or the Biscuit Basket–a biscuit or two, served with Miranda’s jam.
- Location: 1469 NE Prescott St. Portland Map it!
- Phone Number: 503.281.3700
- Hours: Tue-Fri 11am-9pm, Sat-Sun 9am-9pm (Brunch 9am-1pm)
Screen Door
“Recession? What recession?” my dining companion sputtered incredulously as we surveyed the line to get into Screen Door on a recent Sunday morning. Around the corner and halfway down the block people waited, in twos, fours, and mores, some with entire flocks of children in tow. Whether they were here for the stomach-warming Southern brunch or the absolutely massive portions, it’s hard to say, maybe a little bit of both. Describing their food as a “survey of the south,” Screen Door’s inspiration comes from everything everything from South Carolina lowcountry cuisine to Cajun one-pot cooking to the fancy French Cajun food in New Orleans, with some soul food in between; producing dishes like the Cajun Scramble with cheddar grits, Fried Oyster Benedict, Fried Chicken & Waffle, Bananas Foster French Toast, and Praline Bacon. Yes, Praline Bacon. The cavernous dining room hosts booths, half booths, and long rows of tables that can be pushed together to accomodate familes, even old-woman-in-a-shoe-sized ones.
Simpatica Dining Hall
Recently someone asked me to recommend a few brunch spots for a visiting friend. “So what kind of food does your friend like?” I asked. “Dunno, he’ll eat anything, he’s the senior art editor at Bon Appetit magazine, you know, a foodie,” they replied. “Oh my!” I blanched. I sweated over the list long into the night, hit send as the clock struck midnight, took a deep breath, then went to bed to dream about fried chicken ‘n waffles and huckleberry pancakes. Sunday afternoon, an email arrived in my inbox from the art editor, and all it said was, “OMG Simpatica!” I guess that just about says it all. After all, Simpatica’s brunch menu causes more oohs and ahs than a Philippe Petit high wire performance–Cherry Pancakes with Chantilly Cream, Smoked Salmon Benedict with Dill Hollandaise, Frittata with Cardoncello Mushrooms and Fava Beans, and the Chimichurri-marinated Hanger Steak with Roasted Potatoes and Eggs Over Easy. OMG Simpatica might be my new mantra.
